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thought i was a donut, ya tried to glaze me


do not hold doors

It's rush hour, and the E train is packed. I hop on at 7th Avenue and I'm just ready for my night to begin, for that train to get moving and to get my butt in Queens, fast.

The doors begin to close, but then jam. And I see this guy squeezing his way through the center doors, paying no mind & making no apologies for holding us up. I figure that's it, I'll forget about this guy and thie brief annoyance but then...

He whips out his shiny black Sidekick. Oh, good for you--what are you, on AIM or something? Checking your e-mail, underground? I have some personal beef with Sidekicks that stems mainly from my secret desire to own one, and while I don't hate people who have them (JGear has a 'kick, how could I hate JGear???) I did, just from the look of this guy holding it to his face, hate him. He hd this nasty-ass look on his face, like he was better than the rest of us. And with his dirty Starter jacket (seriously) and his bubbly, irregularly stubbly chin, I'm sure he was. I'm sure.

I turn away; this guy can't bother me if I don't look at him, right?


He snaps his gum. Blows a big huge bubble and does one of those quadruple snaps, snapsnapsnapsnap, and continues chewing. The guy standing next to him--that poor guy, I wanted to reach over and give him a hug--just looked up t him, but Sidekick was all up in his and too busy to notice.


I grill him, but since hte train is so packed he doesn't get that feeling you get when someone's staring at you. I try to burn my eyes into his forehead or reach over and make him spit his gum out but I can't do either; and he continues to snap.


I just wanted to get going, to have a good night, but this asshole kept snapping and making my irritating afternoon even more irritating.

And I felt so bad for that guy standing next to him, who was forced to look at him every 2 minutes, silently pleading for him to quit it, now.

I think my new biggest pet peeve is people who snap their gum--it knocks Sidekicks out of the top spot

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I wonder if my writing has even improved?