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thought i was a donut, ya tried to glaze me

1.13.2007

this may be the last time i write about this sort of thing

This is my final semester of my undergraduate college career, maybe even my last semester of school EVER, if I don't get my LSATs up.

I'm kidding about the law school thing (you'd know that if you knew my Business Law grade)

But I don't even know if I'd ever go back to school, to spend a few more years and a few more g's to get another piece of paper to put in a frame. I would want to go to grad school, because I actually like school and what I"d want to be going for, but it's the whole applicaiton process that scares me.

Or maybe just makes me tired--yes, I'm lazy. How did I do it back in high school? All those classes, all day long, only one free a day and gym (gym! exercise! holy shit!) three days a week. And then I was so eager to apply to schools and fill out all those forms and hand them in the proper envelope to my guidance counselor. I guess back then the option was college or not-college, and my options coming out of college are a little (very little) bit better.

Don't worry--I don't know where this post is going either. I've just been half-napping all day, catching up on TV and thinking about the coming weeks. And months. And years.

I'm taking two online classes this semester since my internship's full time, and I have a sinking filling there's gonna be this void where the beginning of school thing usually is, since I wont be on campus. Shit, I'm gonna miss being at school a lot, which may make some people think I'm a loser. I hate change, even if it's an amazing, exciting, awesome change. And sometimes it feels like it's all going so fast, and I sometimes wish it was still November or something, for a lot of weird reasons. Of course back in November I wanted nothing more than to be here, in January, because thats how it works. I didn't understand (or maybe I did, but I just didnt know where to place a feeling I wasn't feeling yet) that I'd actually miss my morning routine; my commute, my car, the way I'd decide right before whether or not I'd take the Van Wyck or stay where I was or make a right at Park Lane South and look at all the houses on my way to school. The train is a bitch, seriously; and besides all this commuting bs I'm gonna miss the people I saw everyday.

This blog really is a fucking downer, right? I gots shit to do, and here I am whining and typing. I'm off to get something done (or at least try).

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I wonder if my writing has even improved?