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thought i was a donut, ya tried to glaze me


It's lonely out in space

Back in elementary school our teachers told us we could be anything we wanted when we grew up--even astronauts! This chick actually did it. she became a real-live space girl, Sally Riding it up in space, eating freeze-dried ice cream, floating weightless in a place most of us will never, ever go. And what does she do? She blows it all for some guy. Typical girl stuff.

The Daily News said their relationship was "more than working, less than romantic", which makes surprisingly more sense than you'd think. Maybe he was a good listener, up there on the space ship. Maybe he revealed parts of himself she thought no one else knew, or he complimented her on the way she looked in her orange suit, or even told her she still looked beautiful even though she hadn't had a real shower in days. Perhaps he told her things like, "no one understands me like you do" or "we have so much in common, I'm going to miss the time we spent up here." Come on people, it doesn't take much more than that, and you know it.

Just look at Cmdr. William Oefelein--Bill, or Billy perhaps,to Lisa--carrying his helmet in that photo. That stud made a US Naval Captain, a God-damned astronaut, drive all the way from Houston to Orlando, straight, no stops, peeing in her adult diapers, just to "talk" to the girl Billy's supposedly dating. And by talk, I mean dress in a disguise, follow her on to the airport shuttle, and pepper spray her.

What makes people (not just girls) so crazy? Why did this woman throw it all away? For love, I guess, or more the idea of it than anything else. I think it was Jesus who said, "it's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers in the human heart", and He was right. I think the reason Lisa didn't stop those whole 12 hours was because she thought at some point, at some rest stop along her trip, this little thing called ration would sneak up on her and make her turn around. And maybe she would have, and she would have cried the whole way back to her husband and three kids, and driven back to her life; all the while dreaming of Commander Billy, floating with her up in a NASA space ship, just the two of them, weightless and carefree. It doesn't sound so bad, I'll admit, but it isn't real. This idea of love, of a love she had with Cmdr. Bill, really fucked up her life. This more than coworkers/less than lovers relationship made her think, "what if?", and take out a knife and plan to really "talk" to this GF.

I always knew love was messy, but you need more than Depends to soak this all up.

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I wonder if my writing has even improved?