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thought i was a donut, ya tried to glaze me

3.29.2007

starving for sanjaya

I'll admit that I was way into American Idol when it first came on. It was Summer 2002, and I was spending two weeks in summer school for the Math B Regents (which i subsequently failed two more times). Our teacher gave us a short break halfway through class-- so short there wasn't much time to do anything other than turn to the person next you and talk about something other than sine,cosine, and tangent. Our teacher was a huge reality TV fan, so we'd usually talk about AI. And being me, and not wanting to miss out on any form of conversation, I picked up the show so I could chime in.

This lead to a strong hatred of all things Justin Guarini; a deep admiration, respect, and fist-pumping love for Kelly Clarkson; and (don't judge me) a super-secret crush on Simon Cowell. What can I say? He's got the accent, and he's that brand of asshole girls usually think they can change. And he keeps it realer than anybody else, so...so fuck you if you don't understand it, alright?

My AI love faded with each season. I knew enough to make general conversation, but I basically just resented the way it killed well-written TV shows (Arrested Development?) and any other program put up against it. Do I understand why people go crazy for the show? Of course--it shows human beings rising and falling, smiling and crying, and singing karaoke to songs we listen to on the radio.

And Sanjaya Malakar--I get him, too. He's peppy and vaguely ethnic and he's got that gay-but-won't-say charm that still allows middle-america moms and children to love him (just like Clay Aiken. speaking of, is he out of the closet yet?)

I've heard all the rumors and theories about why he's still on the show, and I hope they're all true. I hope the phone operators in India are messing around to make him win; I hope Vote For The Worst.com is inspring people to call up. And you wanna know why I hope he wins?

Because of this moron: starving for sanjaya

Starve, bitch, starve. Back in the day Ghandi embarked on a hunger strike to protest British rule in India. Now dumb girls are starving themselves to vote off a ponytailed Indian. Ah, history repeats itself.

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I wonder if my writing has even improved?