About Me

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thought i was a donut, ya tried to glaze me

8.18.2007

secret diary excerpts

So recently I found my collection of journals from my childhood. I thought it might be interesting to transcribe & post some of the actual excerpts* from these journals on my internet journal, just so you can see I've always been like this. All errors are real. Enjoy.

_______________________________________________________
october 31, 1989

deer dyery,

yay candy!!!!!!!!!!!!

katey


_______________________________________________________
november 27, 1992

dear diary,

today is my 7th birthday. unfortunately i did not receive the drum set i asked for on my birthday list, nor did i receive tickets to go to disneyworld. i did, however, receive a cassette of "grave dancers union" by soul asylum and "pocket full of kryptonite" by spin doctors. i will only listen to "runaway train" and "two princes", then stop and rewind to cassette and listen to them again. over and over again. i will never give the other songs a chance because no song i listen to will ever compare. sucks about disney though. at least i got cupcakes.

love,
me

________________________________________________________

june 27th, 1996

OMGGGGG

I CAN'T BELIEVE MY PARENTS ARE TAKING ME TO IRELAND TO SEE MY FAMILY AND GET CULTURED ABOUT MY HERITAGE AND GO TO COOL THINGS LIKE THE GUINNESS FACTORY ALL THE WHILE KELSEY IS THINKING ABOUT NOT GIVING EDMUND AND MARIA HER BABY ON ALL MY CHILDREN!!!!!!!! THEY'VE WANTED THIS BABY FOREVER AND I READ LAST WEEK IN SOAP OPERA DIGEST THAT THEY'LL FIND OUT SOON BUT I'LL BE STUCK IN STUPID EUROPE!!!!!!! I HATE THEM SO MUCH HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??? HOW WILL I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS??? AHHHHH

KATIEEEEEEEEE

_________________________________________________________
april 15, 1998

dear diary,

what's up? i know i haven't written in a while and i'm sorry. i've just been so busy with school and stuff. today was saturday and it was alright. i spent most of the day downloading AOL 3.0--it was finally all finished around 6 hours later. i'm so excited! i heard you might be able to put colors in your profile now. anways, last night i went to an sfds dance. it was alright, i guess. i just wish someone asked me to "go for a walk" so i could find out what happens up at the beach wall. i heard that's when you go with people. you know, goooo go with. maybe one day. gosh, i wish i was in high school or college already. i'm sure i'll have tons of boyfriends then.

love,
katie

p.s--the song "sunny came home" by shawn colvin is amazing!!!!

know when to fold 'em

I consider myself to be a positive person. I'm cynical, yes, but more so realistic, and I recognize some stuff is really fucked up and not everything will go your way. In spite of all this I remain unflaggingly optimistic about life. Regardless of the hand I'm dealt I always seem to think it through, look on the bright side, and play on. Who knows what kind of cards I'll get next go around, right? Keep rolling the dice, you're bound to get lucky. Keep pulling that lever you'll eventually get a whole bunch of 7s...

I also think I'm real fucking clever with these gambling references, so I'll continue with them. Here's a word to think about--bluffing. The term is used in poker, and is defined by freedictionary.com as :


bluff 1 (blf)
v. bluffed, bluff·ing, bluffs
v.tr.
1. To mislead or deceive.
2. To impress, deter, or intimidate by a false display of confidence.
3. Games To try to mislead (opponents) in a card game by heavy betting on a poor hand or by little or no betting on a good one.
v.intr.
To engage in a false display of strength or confidence.
n.
1. The act or practice of bluffing.
2. One that bluffs.



I've only played poker a few times, back when my sister, the Annie Duke of my house, tried teaching me how to play. We sat at my dining room table, my sister to my left and James to my right and J.Webs across the way. Every hand I got, despite my efforts, was revealed to everyone around me by the look on my face. It was funny, really, how hard I tried but could not succeed. I could not bluff. Frustrated, I quit and watched TV instead. What I felt and thought in poker was written on my face, and there was nothing I could do to change it.

But in the game of life, with this precarious deck, I am one hell of a good bluffer. I recognize that outside of game circumstances it's called "lying", but I prefer to use the term "bluff." To bluff--"to engage in a false display of strength or confidence"--faking it til' you make it, I guess. That strength is something I fake everyday. Some things more than others, because I don't think I'm all that insecure. It's just there are some situations in my life that I would change if I could. And with my luck, it's not the type of things you can really change, either. I can't ask the dealer for another card on this one to make my hand a little better. I can't ask for a change of heart or to change the heart of anyone else. So instead I play on, and bluff my way through, and fold my corners in and look up then look away and wonder if anyone really knows what kind of cards I'm playing with. If they actually believe I have a royal flush when it's really just a lonely heart that doesn't add up to much.

8.16.2007

priorities

ME: Hey mom, what are you doing tomorrow night?
MOM: I dunno, why?
ME: Would you want to go to Matt's show at the seaport? Beth's mom is going, it'll be fun.
MOM: (sighing) ohhh, I don't know. Dad has a meeting.
ME: But he doesn't have to...wait a minute. Don't think about Stella for one second.
MOM: But I can't! She's my baby! I can't leave her alone!
ME: Who's more important, people or dogs?
MOM: Well, it really all depends on the person.

8.15.2007

holy shiite!

i go to bars! i go to bookstores! i went to college!

omg! that means i'm a fucking terrorist now!!!!

a post about douchebags

I watch a lot of questionable television. I watch a lot of good shows, too, but there's something about shameless reality shows featuring self-centered, narcisstic spoiled brats that always makes me drop the remote. And although I did not religiously watch The Hills last season I did make a point to tune in this week for the season premiere. What a great hour of television--Lo is back, and Lauren is getting drunk and rambling, and Spencer is being a big old asshole.


Which brings me to the title of this post. Spencer Pratt may quite possibly be the biggest douchebag I have ever seen on my TV screen. He beats out Stee-veeeen, Bill O'Reilly/Tucker Carlson, and every black male ever featured on My Super Sweet 16. The thing that gets me about Spence is the fact that he's not even that good looking. I'll to admit that I can allow pretty boys some asshole-pass because they, with their good looks, are almost expected to be assholes. It's an unspoken agreement--you're a huge jerk, and you probably make fun of me, but you're aesthetically pleasing and if I don't think about it too hard I can look past it and enjoy the view. Not Mr. Pratt. He's short, has a little-boy body, and half the time I want to punch him in his busted, overbitten mouth. He's manipulative and too angry and cheap as girlfriend is ugly, and if my live-in BF ever had a pseudo-ghetto grafitti mural put on my living room wall I'd kick him in the face and kick him out of my house. So this goes out to you, Spencer Pratt, royal douchebag of the summer, who proposed (or 'promised', depending on which story you believe) with a ring purchased at a store simliar to Clare's accesories. If i had an award for being a douche, you'd win it in a landslide.




P.S- He's the white one.

8.08.2007

welcome to NYC




While standing on a cramped F train today, watching the crowds of people on the platforms as we pulled in to each station, I realized something.

It's not the terrorists or a category 5 hurricane or nerve gas that will ultimately get us. It'll be a frigin thunderstorm.

I don't even usually take the F train, especially not from Brooklyn. But the 2 wasn't running and the B and Q were delayed and I had just gotten a call from my friend who was kicked off the A train at Broadway-Junction (kicked off, with nowhere to go, and no other instructions offered by the MTA except 'get off the train!') and the E train and F from queens weren't running and...yea. So I drove to BK, planned on taking the D (the only train I hadn't heard anything about, which I thought might be a good sign) but then saw the F as I drove on the Belt and figured it was worth a shot. I waited at Avenue X for 20 minutes before a train came rolling through, and it rolled, all right, for another hour and a half. I took some pleasure in watching upset yuppies at Carroll Street, and managed to find some humor in listening to people fighting with each other just to get on. I was just happy to be on a train, on my way to work, even if I was late. But what gives?

I didn't see one cop the entire time--what if we started rioting? I didn't even SEE an MTA worker at Avenue X. And if this is how the city acts (or inacts) during RAIN, what the FUCK are we going to do when a Hurricane pays a visit? I know I'll be "evacuated" to Brooklyn College or the Acqueduct (seriously. an outdoor stadium for evacuation? a college campus? are we all gonna huddle in the fucking Quad?) but how the hell am I supposed to get there? The two bridges off that get backed up with beach traffic when it's sunny outside? Or maybe I'll go through Far Rockaway & Five Towns, through the streets that flood when it's humid out.

Should I just hop on my roof now with a white flag & get ready?!

8.07.2007

history

the world's biggest burger can be bought in...



Thailand!

I'm happy to see them back on their feet. I kinda want my tsunami relief money back, though.

8.06.2007

only 4 more days...



It's concerts like this that makes me wish I did drugs--then I'd be tripping all around Keyspan Park like a robomaniac.

8.04.2007

and the number one sign your family is too fat.....




A note underneath the butter that says "don't eat the cheesecake."

8.01.2007

so why do you do it?

Although I didn't think a study was necessary, these people spent a whole bunch of money to scientifically prove what everyone's known since they hit puberty and started feeling funny around people they thought were pretty.

I personally enjoy the top 5 bottom reasons for having sex. Who would even put down "to give someone a sexually transmitted disease" on a survey?

I wonder if my writing has even improved?