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thought i was a donut, ya tried to glaze me

12.19.2007

oops, a Spears has done it again

I'm mad at myself. I'm usually on top of these things, but today while reading the Daily News I found the story on page 3 announcing Jamie-Lynn Spear's pregnancy. I've been slacking on the Dlisted and the Perez, where I usually would have read this long before it made it into the paper.

Was I surprised that Brit's kid sister got knocked up? Of course not. As my sister says, money can't buy class, and the entire Spears family is just a bunch of hillbillies dressed up in designer clothes. I find the media's reaction to this accident completely ridiculous. Take a look at the main page of CNN.com:




Really, that's the top story? With a picture? Glance over to the "LATEST NEWS": Torture chamber, mass graves found in Iraq. An amputee boy walking again, stating that he's got his life back. That's CNN news right there--important stuff involving important topics, not some dumb bitch probably jealous of all the attention her big sis is getting. Nobody died. This doesn't negatively effect anybody other than JL Spears, really, considering the baby-daddy will probably luck out financially just as Kevin Federline did.

And of course they keep making a big deal about what parents should tell their kids. Is this really a national issue? Is this seriously on some 9-11 level, with children being so "confused" and "traumatized" that it would be news on how to talk to your kids?

Aw, z00ey 101 is gonna have a baby, mommy? I want one, too!

First off--CNN should mind their business. Also, if you're turning to CNN.com for help on what to say to your children you're probably no better than Lynn Spears is as a parent (Jesus, it's not Planned Parenthood). But if you are that hard up on what to say to your tween, how's this : Keep your damn legs closed. And if you find it so hard to do that, the least you can do is wrap it up.

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I wonder if my writing has even improved?