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thought i was a donut, ya tried to glaze me

8.27.2008

If You Had The Faith Of A Grain Of Mustard Seed, You Could Move Mountains

"forgive, oh Lord, my little jokes on thee/ and i'll forgive the great big one on me"
-Robert Frost

If my devoted Irish-Catholic Grandma Honie--who used to say the Rosary using pebbles back on the farm in Ireland, since the Limey Bastards wouldn't let her practice her religion--is reading this, then I'm sorry in advance. I hope Heaven doesn't have wireless. I know and I'm sorry.

At a wake once, the wake of somebody who suffered too much on Earth and died too soon, a priest got up and said a few words. Towards the end of his talk, where he spoke how unfortunate it was to lose someone this young, he told us to take comfort in Jesus.

"I know we suffer. But take comfort in knowing...that nobody suffered as much as Jesus did."

Oh yea? What is that, some "NANY NANY POO POO" way of letting us feel like Jesus' pain will always trump ours? Listen, Father, I saw that movie: the suffering lasted about a day. And He got to have a big dinner with all his friends before. You're gonna tell me the suffering of someone on a Friday afternoon is comparable to that of so many people on Earth, people who are in pain for large chunks of their life? People, mind you, who don't have an in with the Big Guy upstairs. People who have no certainty of what will happen when it's all over. People who know only what they see around them, not what they hope and pray and have faith in is real. When I heard that, I scoffed, openly. I'm sorry, but I don't see how that can EVER make ANYONE feel better, ESPECIALLY at a time like that.

I went to Catholic school most of my life. I used to go to church every Sunday. I stopped, save for the forced visits on Christmas and Easter. Me and religion didn't necessarily have a big fight or something, we both just parted ways. Like a friendship that seemed to no longer be based on the same thing, consisting of two people who are just starting to grow apart, I stopped calling.

Sometimes I miss it. Church, organized religion, a place to go every week. Sometimes I think about going back on a regular basis. I know I sort of envy those people who exhibit a strong, unwavering faith; oftentimes I'm afraid I'm too cynical to ever be like them. I try to be a goo person. I think I am. I pray. I remember what I was taught and am kind to others and every so often find myself humming church tunes to get me through. Be not afraid, I go before you, always. Come, follow me...

If only I could.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

just remember what our friend david cross believes.. haha !

cw

the other CW said...

i just got bugged out like, when did i write this? then i realized me and clare have the same initials lol

Bridgid said...

i go for the coffee and donuts

and also to watch kids misbehave - that's good times

Bridgid said...

i go for the coffee and donuts

and also to watch kids misbehave - that's good times

I wonder if my writing has even improved?