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thought i was a donut, ya tried to glaze me

8.17.2008

Reasons I, If By Some Happenstance Had The Opportunity To, Would Not Date Michael Phelps

1. He probably smells like chlorine. How could he not? There's no shower gel in the world that can compete with hours and hours of swimming in a hot pool. And I hate the smell of chlorine.

2. Total butter face.

3. All he'd talk about is swimming. I'd probably get sick of hearing him go on and on about how rich and talented he is or about how annoyed he was at Ryan Lochte for taking the better lane during practice. Damn Phelps, don't you watch TV?

4. He's too skinny. You know how I feel about that.

5. All his gold medals might get in the way. Because you know he wears them to the bar.

6. When I wasn't looking, or in the bathroom, he'd finish my dinner. He's gotta get those 12,000 calories in sometime.

7. He might swallow my face with his giant mouth.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHA he is a total butta face and umm lets not forget, gEEk! but i must say he doesnt come off as thinking he's a big deal i actually think he would be nice....and that big mouth could come in handy....

Fortune said...

OMG I LOVE THIS hahahahhaha

I wonder if my writing has even improved?