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thought i was a donut, ya tried to glaze me


Friday Night

It was a long one. Liz and Auggie had their birthday party at the Bayview, $30 all you can. And like every other all-you-can parties I go to, I started it off responsibly.

"Maybe I won't pay the cover and just drink a beer or two."

That didn't work; everyone had to pay.

"Maybe I'll just stick to beer."

Right. I was drinking Red Bull & Gin by 11. That's the thing about these specials--with the feeling that you're drinking for free, you want to try all new kinds of drinks, crazy, fruity drinks mixed with bottom, bottom shelf liquor and a splash of something else.

By 1 I'm told I TRIED TO BREAKDANCE, failing miserably but getting right back up. I know I jumped around a lot because my legs hurt Saturday morning. At some point we left that bar and got in a cab and made our way--for whatever reason--to Roger's Irish House. Clare, who was drunker than I was, put her head down on the table; she was immediately asked to leave. Well, I was told to get her out. We walked home. Rockaway was quiet and it was cold; I wished I'd brought a jacket. I walked Clare halfway to her block before she insisted I just go home. I walked down my street from Newport (don't know why) and that's when I saw it.

A McCain-Palin-Sullivan lawn sign on my neighbors front lawn.

Rockaway's filled with these things. I think they're obnoxious (and racist!) and unnecessary (and ignorant!). Seeing them so close to my house made me angry; I stood in the middle of the street and stared at it for a while, contemplating what I could do.

I could rip it out. I could tear it up. I could perch myself up on a tree and throw rocks at it, kinda like how Sarah Palin encouraged people to shoot wolves from above (see how far I'm stretching to compare these things?). I wanted so badly to grab it and run, to head down to the beach and throw it in the ocean; then get on my bike and ride around my town and start doing a little domestic terrorism of my own.

But more than that, I wanted some pretzels. So I walked away and went into my house and ate some.

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I wonder if my writing has even improved?