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thought i was a donut, ya tried to glaze me

1.16.2009

Kids

When I'm older and have kids, I'm gonna lie to them all the time.


There's nothing wrong withit. Nothing wrong with smacking them around every so often, either, but that's neither here nor there. My mom and dad lied to me every Christmas and Easter, every time I lost a tooth, every time they told me the candy store was closed (when it wasn't, those jerks). The lie I remember best, though, was on a family trip to Sesame Street.

Now a brief description on this blog post cannot begin to illustrate how obsessed I was with Sesame Street. Damn. I loved it, but I especially loved Bert and Ernie. So months before the trip I started collecting paper clips to give to Bert when I saw him, since he collected them. The day of the trip, I had them wrapped in a sandwich bag, and even though it couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 paper clips I was beyond excited to give them to him.

My parents must have stalled all day at Sesame Place when I asked them about seeing Bert. They must have made something up just so they wouldn't have to explain that no, Katie, I don't think the pimply teenager currently actually inside the Bert costume wants your stupid paperclips. So on our way the parking lot my mom told my dad to bring them to his house, and me and my mom and my sister all waited at the gate. A few minutes later my dad came rushing back, smiling, minus the bag I had handed him earlier.


"I gave Bert your paperclips," he said. "He really liked them and wanted me to thank you. And oh, look!"

He pointed up to one of the houses.

"That was Bert just waving from his window. You just missed him, but he saw you."

I slept the whole drive home and most likely dreamt pretend dreams of paper clips and puppets.


Mom and dad and parents everywhere--thank you for not telling your children the truth.

1 comment:

Fortune said...

I really liked this post. Thank goodness parents lie about things sometimes!

Kids don't need to be brought down by the dreamcrushers of the universe.

I wonder if my writing has even improved?